A Crime Justly Punished

by Eric Drewes

The Cyrocade sat brooding on his throne, leaning his chin against the bony fingers of his left hand. While he enjoyed being a pan dimensional ultra-villain, it occasionally got boring for him and he often wished for some sort of diversion. The nihilist gods must have heard him because it was shortly thereafter that there was news. One of the Cyrocade's servants, a short odd looking man in haggard mismatched clothing crawled out from a crevice in the wall and bowed, almost mockingly, to his master. The Cyrocade cocked his head and the little man spoke:

"Master, a man is here dressed in gleaming silver armor and bearing the flag and herald of the Black Infinity. He claims you have violated the laws of the universe and must submit yourself to their will, lest you be trod upon. He seeks entrance to your throne room so that he may make this statement to you himself. "

The Cyrocade's frown quickly grew into an almost impossibly long ear to ear grin. He nodded to his odd servant and said, "Invite him in of course, friend"

The servant led the Knight in, who stood before The Cyrocade. He was an imposing warrior nearly 7 feet tall dressed from head to toe in ornate silver armor, intricately etched with ancient runes of power and at his waist was a massive sword which glowed with an almost ethereal light. Though the armor was obviously incredibly heavy, he moved with a fluid and almost catlike grace, indicating incredible inherent strength and practiced skill. He spoke in a deep and clear voice, "You are the Cyrocade?"

The Cyrocade nodded .

The Knight strode forward and unfurled a gold flecked scroll, "You are under arrest for tampering in extra dimension forces, which is against the laws set forth by the ancient gods and upheld by the Black Infinity. If you do not come peacefully, I will use force."

The Cyrocade stared up and contemplated the situation. He was not a creature of much thought or planning and basically only acted on instinct or what sufficed as instinct for him. The pause quickly gave way to action and he was upon the Knight like a snake on a rat. He quickly opened his maw and bit a large chunk in the fancy armor and flayed flesh and muscle from the warrior's bones underneath. He then grabbed the knight and tossed him face first into the ground and swiftly kicked him in the ass, sending the warrior sprawling to the floor.


The Cyrocade then kicked the Knight in the ass again as he was crawling in agony towards the door. His diversion over, he sat back down on his throne with a renewed look of satisfaction on his face.

Of course, the next day the Knight came back and this time he had a cadre of the Elite Black Templar, the absolute enforcer's of the Black Infinity code. They were not the of the same ilk as the first knight - they instead wore blackened armor and were built like collosals, making the first man seem tiny beside them. Indeed each warrior was almost an army in and of himself.

They lined up outside the Cyrocade's walls and called for him.

"Cyrocade, Cyrocade, surrender yourself or you will be unmade!" one yelled.

The Cyrocade snickered at the amateur rhyme and walked out to meet his enemies. "THIS is what you brought to face me?"

He laughed a sinister laugh.

"Do you know who we are, good sir?" The leader of the Elite Templar asked him rhetorically, "we are the greatest warriors in existence, we are those that defeated the Dark God's armies, routed Corzin Blackpawn's demonic horde in the war of the Rift. Surrender or you will be destroyed utterly and completely, you have no army, and even if you did you cannot stand against us."

The Cyrocade almost fell to the floor laughing, the Templar stared at him with confusion. After a moment of hestitation, they started towards him, drawing their mighty blades. The Cyrocade glanced idly up and put his hand out.

"HALT!" he feigned seriousness for a brief second before grinning again, his sharpened teeth becoming visible between his lips.

The armored warriors glanced at one another. They had never been defeated in a thousand battles and now this creature spoke to them without fear or apprehension. He must be mad in the absolute, they calculated.

"You want to see my army?" The Cyrocade made a wide sweeping gesture and 10 of his odd men came out from the doorway behind him, all of them dressed in mock-armor; some with pots as helmets, some wearing wide brimmed caps, and all wearing long cloaks made of poorly stitched cloth. A couple of them held trash can lid shields and brandished them menacingly. "HERE is my army!"

The Knights shook their head and continued their approach. The Cyrocade gave a half hearted shrug and faded backwards behind his line of bizarrely dressed soldiers.

The Templar of the Black Infinity marched closer, their weapons gleaming in anticipation of the blood bath that would ensue. They continued without trepidation until one after another, the odd little men threw back their cloaks with a flourish - revealing that each carried with him a pair of revolvers. They cheered as they began to fire at their opponents, blasting away wildly with abandon at their armored foes.

The Elite crumbled to the ground one by one until all were lost. Soon the battle was over and the strange men returned to their holes and crevices hidden within the cave.

The Cyrocade went back to his throne of gold and bones to wait for his time once again.

The End.